My entire weekend was spent in a highly irritable and caffeinated state, muttering imprecations to the heavens, staring morosely at the somewhat dusty insides of my fancy lemon computer...
...and (oh joy of joys) having inane telephone conversations with technical support. For example,
Tech Support: Open your computer case.
Tech Support: Aren't you scared?
My hard drive, a Barracuda, failed catastrophically. Perhaps it crashed out of a misguided sense of solidarity with another member of the species. Anyway, after several less-than-scintillating conversations, I hung up on tech support, bought a new Barracuda, installed it, and ran System Restore, which takes a good while.
It seems to have worked (yay me!). Now all I need is a recommendation for a data recovery service.