It's that time in the holiday season – you know, that (!!!) time. So to evoke feelings of pity and terror in gentle readers and to promote catharsis for the good of all, permit me to present a vintage Marisa Christina Christmas sweater. It was a gift from a well-meaning relative anxious to provide a bit of suburban holiday chic. It remains quite possibly the scariest garment I still own.
Can you see why? It's not the panda-inspired contrast body and sleeves, nor the lavish mix of intarsia, embroidery, appliqué, metallic thread, and beading, nor even the real jingle bell on the toy train engine.
It's not the shoulder pads that would make Nolan Miller weep for joy, nor the chenille tree.
No, no, no – it's the genius and glory of this design: the train wraps around the hips from front to back, placing the caboose on, yes, the caboose. Sometimes it's no wonder rampaging space aliens always make certain to obliterate New Jersey.
What say you? Wear it to MY SnB Knit n' Knog or no?